ME & MY MIRROR

ME: I've looked at you so many times,

and even today with what you reflect I'm disappointed...

MIRROR: But do I not show you only reality?
That's the reason I was appointed...
Aren't you expecting too much from just a reflection?

Look at the good parts that you haven't pinpointed...

ME: The reflection does form a part of me,

but sometimes depresses me...

MIRROR: There was a time when you worked on improving
your reflection, that made the job easier for me...

ME: I feel both you and my reflection have sidelined me...
I've given up...

MIRROR: I didn't want to disappoint you,

but you both need to learn to pick each other up...

IDENTITY CRISIS: POLITE OR TIMID? (Part 4)

Loud minds but quiet tongues!
Ever felt words unsaid, choking the lungs?

Plenty of expressions waiting inside the brain,
And many more, rejected, going down the drain.

Projected naive and underconfident for not saying things out aloud,
Or perceived to be weird if not interacting with the crowd.

Yes! A change is needed because politeness confuses some,
A change is needed because until introverts speak up, often, they are perceived to be dumb.

The catch is to understand how you feel about yourself,
And not let the voice of the world influence your self-talk.

IDENTITY CRISIS PUT TO REST (Part 3)

The delusional self, until it meets itself, yet again!

Feelings ceased,

Time shrunk, and the garden was invisible.

Peace came from new sources,

Until realization struck.

Imprints of family-travels returning,

Kindling feelings of belongingness.

Old spirit returning,

Comforting the soul.

Familiarity igniting restlessness,

Yet welcomed warmly as an old acquaintance.

Faintly recognizing the self,

Sparks of anxiety sparkle the imagination.

Lopsided uncanny smile returning,

On finding blissful solace in introverting.

Yet again, the being is connected with nature,

Inner callings whispering in tranquil silence.

Again, risk seems thrilling,

As if, essential to feed the soul.

Caving in; replying laconically,

Brings peace.

Calm waters swirling gently like my thoughts,

And each ripple soothing the mind;

That's my introvert world,
Embracing me again.

SWEET IDENTITY CRISIS (Part 2)

Ever acknowledged yourself behaving like the youngest child when you are the oldest?

Younger or older - is a matter of fact,

But how can my behaviour be expected to remain intact?

Let's not be bound to behave a certain way,

Occasionally, I like to be on a swing and sway.

So, let's switch roles sometimes!

Let listening to lullabies be my pass-time.

You, be the one to narrate bedtime stories,

And tuck me to bed while I'm dreaming about mermaids & corries.

With you, I relive my childhood again,

Dear sibling, to me you're always glittering.

So, let me hold the brush and tell me where to colour,

Let me take the pencil and tell me where to use the rubber.

Hold my hand and guide me where to go,

Ask me questions where the answer is a simple yes or no.

I love the way you act mature when I fail to do,

Be by my side, always! Let's stick together, glued.

IDENTITY CRISIS (Part 1)

Introvert? Ambivert? Extrovert? Or, a blend of all three? 

I feel confused many-a-times when I don't act like an introvert. I think to myself if these categorizations should even exist. I could surely be a mixture of all three.

Reacting differently to similar triggers either makes me feel I have evolved or makes me undergo a major identity crisis.

Post these thoughts I usually tell myself to go with the flow.

I used to love my solitude until depressive thoughts caught hold of me for a few months. I started enjoying other people's company more than that of my own.

That particular phase definitely made me doubt if I truly was an introvert. However, I realized after a few long travel experiences that all I desired was freedom. 

If you are someone who is undergoing identity-crisis, do write in.

INNOCENCE IS PRECIOUS AND PRICELESS

Amidst the adulterated minds,
I found her,
Unperturbed and innocent.

While others were busy,
Bringing even their friends down,
She was there to lend a helping hand to a stranger.

A moment was all it took!
She became a friend,
The 'kind', people long for, all their lives.

It was discernible,
As to how long you've known somebody,
Does not matter.

Once in a blue moon,
God puts a gift in your basket.
TREASURE THAT GIFT!

JUGGLER

How are they even doing it?
I used to always ask,
But now I am a juggler,
I am juggling with tasks.

We all are juggling something,
And juggling it right;
We're juggling our emotions,
On roller-coaster rides!

You think that it's a poem?
In my head, it is a rap.
I'm trying to rap like Shady;
On my head is a thinking cap.

It's crazy and it's funny,
How so much is going on,
At the same time, it's uncanny,
That what I mostly do is a yawn.

I know this post is weird,
And that's the whole point,
I'm juggling with sounding sane,
And trying not to disappoint :P

THE BET I DON'T WANT TO WIN

I don't know if I want the hard disk more,
Or want to lose the bet secretly.
I'd be a gainer anyway,
But if I win the bet I'd lose something too,
The value of which I don't realize now,
Or maybe I do but am scared to admit;
Trying to make it all comic,
Unable to cry my heart out,
Scared of crying and breaking down,
I just talk to friends and make them laugh,
They think I'm funny,
And I'm able to lie to myself,
That I am happy.
Maybe I am,
Or maybe I need to learn to do that,
All over again, yet again;
It's not the best feeling in the world,
It's just tragically funny!

LET ME BE ME

I'm a silent person,
I want you to trust me,
I won't break my promise to you,
But just let me be me.

I'm an introvert,
But that doesn't mean I don't like to express,
I like to express myself in my own way,
Maybe not how people do conventionally.

Give me space to be me,
Being an introvert doesn't mean I hide,
I'm an open person and I'm truthful,
Be open with me.

STUDYING ABROAD

So many questions cross my mind,

When I try to imagine,

Though the experience will be one of a kind,

To study in a land that's foreign.

I watch many videos to, know more,

About the experiences that others had,

About the stark differences that they adore,

While I try to accept them whether good or bad.

I try to find an optimistic speaker,

Who can instill the confidence in me,

To stay abroad for a while and not know fear,

Of being where right now I'm scared to be.

So many apprehensions hold me back,

From letting go and feeling free,

Most of all it's the enthusiasm I lack,

When I feel I'll helplessly miss my family.

My family here is not just my parents and siblings,

It's also the air I breathe,

Which I won't get to breathe on a foreign land,

And that's when I know I'll miss my country.

THOUGHTS THAT CROSS MY MIND

My thoughts restrict me from becoming someone,

Who I really want to be.
They make me doubt myself and stop me from sharing,

The experiences I have with me.

But everyday I try to fight them,

And try to overcome,

And share what I feel will inspire the world,

Anticipating better days to come.

That's all I have that I can give,

So I make it a point to write,

The thoughts that cross my mind,

That make my spirit ignite.

'ROOM' WASN'T BUILT IN A DAY

Day One I chose to organize my room,

        And divided it into 9 parts,

        I followed Feng Shui's Bagua map,

        Took a pencil and drew some charts.

Day Two I cleared the room of clutter,

        From each part one by one,

        It made my work so easy,

        In fifteen minutes it was all done.

Day Three I selected a shelf in which,

        Were books to be read that week,
        Then put my heels and slippers in order,
        Next I shelved the antiques.
        

Day Four I selected carefully,

       The clothes I wanted to wear,

       Holding a few old and small,

       As a memory of each passing year.

Day Five I changed the curtains and covers,
       Day six I set the drawers right,
       Rubbed the trophies with a soft fabric,
       Until they were shining bright.
     
Day Seven I placed the flowers in the vase,
       Fresh, fragrant and delicate,
       The way they were soft and pulled it off,
       To see them bloom was worth the wait.

Day Eight and Nine with just a little work,
       Everything was going fine,
       Until I lost something important,
       Right before I was going to dine.

Day Ten I tried to keep everything intact,
       While I searched for it in a hurry,
       I didn't mess it up this time,
       I found what I lost without a worry.
     
Was happier when I was gifted a bamboo,

        For which I waited so long,

        Closed the lights and fell asleep,
        Listening to my favorite song.

     

REALIZATION

Thank you God,

For the troubles in my life,

For they made me who I am.

I guess it's all about channelizing my energy,

In the right direction,

Rather than going on the lam.

For there will be hurdles,

There will be sign boards,

Trying to influence my choice.

It's all about keeping cool in the moment,

Introspecting,

And listening to my inner voice.

Thank you God,

For the people in my life,

Whether they built me or broke me down.

For now I know it's about not losing myself,

In the crowd,

Because at some point people might surprise me by letting me down for the crown.

Its hard to trust others,
But never will I,
Let my belief in myself flee ;

I'll keep my dreams beside me,
When I wake up and when I sleep,
Exploring and imagining everything,
I always wanted to be.

ENIGMA

Building me or draining me ?

Enlightening me or blinding me ?

For good or for bad ? 

Am I happy or am I sad ?

Well wisher or an evil eye ?

It's no truth when you tell a white lie !

Do they love or only pretend ?

Or 'secretly care' when they offend ?

PARADOX

Sometimes I feel like I'm not good enough,

Other times I feel I am. 

And though my life is not 

what I had imagined it to be

it's decent.

A little success here and a little failure there. 

Sometimes I am my own critic & other times I praise myself.

Either I'm totally goal driven or on an aimless drive.

At times its easy, at times its hard even to survive.

My mind is tired of my over thinking and I feel I have lost that shine.

But my gut feeling keeps pushing me uphill and tells me its my time.

In the end I only have control over what I do, 

& only my thoughts are mine.